One Love???????

Quite a few of my friends and I are in our early 40's. I received a text from my dear friend T. Smith, and he wanted to let me know that he and a few of our other friends are turning forty and are having a birthday party in June in Chicago, and I responded, "I will be there...welcome to the 40 club. It's so awesome." T. Smith, being T. Smith, asked: "Better sex?," and I responded "Everything is better."

I can't speak for all people in their forties, but in my forties, I feel everything more intensely. I really see and love trees deeply; when I see and talk to my mom, I feel so much love for her until it is mind blowing; when I get pictures of my nieces and nephews, I look and think about how much I love them; when I am with people, I listen intensely, because I want to hear and feel what they are telling me; I can't even began to explain how I feel about my students once I really get to know them and their parents and their ideas.... and it goes on and on and on..... I cry all of the time, and it's not always because I'm sad, I cry mostly because I feel things so intensely, and one of my responses is to cry. I just can't help it.....

Yesterday, I was talking to a teacher about the the last four years with an African American President and this recent Presidential campaign, and I started to tear up. This racism that seems to be ruling this country makes me so sad, and being an action person, I want to get on TV, and say "Lets get together and feel alright," but I know that it is just not that simple.

This Presidential election has made me think about being raised in Alabama and now living in Northern Virginia and how much my life has changed. Many of my friends in college can not believe how open and accepting I have become, and I am still a work in progress. Growing up, I do not remember having any person of a different race that I would call friend, but today I do. What expanded my circle is doing things that I love to do with people who like to do the same things, and my circle expanded more than I could have ever imagined. I show up for all types of group activites and classes expecting to meet great people, and I do most of the time. However, I know when people do not want to be bothered, and I respect their decision, pray for them, and move on to people who do want to be bothered.

So, the teacher whom I was talking to yesterday, happens to be a mid-aged White lady from California whom I have been working with for about five years. We speak to each other, but we really have not had much interaction. However, at the beginning of the year, not sure how it came up, she told me about the book that I am currently reading titled Cutting for Stone. I absolutely love this book so far and guess what we were talking about in the hallway this morning? This book, where she and I were raised, race issues in this country and on and on and on...Who would have known that two people from two different worlds could have something in common that could possibly spark the beginning of a friendship?

It seems so simple for us to just spend time with people who have common interest, respect and try to understand people who like totally different things than us, and then go into complete acceptance, and maybe we could "just get along" as stated by Rodney King. But, I know that it is just not that simple.

I can't change the world, but I can change my response to it and maybe influence a few people, and pray.........

Those intense feelings can be overwhelming sometimes, but I am beginning to believe that it comes with the territory of being in the 40s, and I wouldn't change that for nothing...

James Baldwin wrote that "Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced."